Friday, January 9, 2009

Here's Why You Should Vote For Me For Male Artist Of The Year.


I've compiled a comprehensive list of why you should vote for me for Best Male Artist Of The Year. Here it is.

1. Because I'm your father, and I said so.
2. If you don't vote for me, the terrorists win.
3. Every time you vote for me, God kills a kitten.
4. I am Spartacus.
5. If you don't vote for me, I'll take your mother, Dorothy Mantooth, out for a nice seafood dinner and never call her again.
6. Because I would really appreciate it, and the award would be great exposure, a great resume piece and a boost to my career. Plus, I'm really, really ridiculously good looking.

VOTE. THANKS!

Many of you have asked me who else I voted for (and, accordingly, who else they should vote for).
Here's my ballot:

Pioneer Award: Alex Steiniger
Legends Award: Elliot Smith
Album OTY: "Slanted Eyes, Slanted Hearts" by The Slants
Band OTY: The Slants
Male Artist: Anyone but that Jon Davidson douche
Female Artist: Storm Large
Best New Artist: Acoustic Minds
Best Radio Station: KUFO
Best Large Venue: Roseland
Best Medium Venue: Hawthorne
Best Small Venue: Macadam's
Best Live Performance, Local: Keegan Smith

To be honest, I don't know a lot about local country, world, blues, or jazz music, so as to avoid tainting an otherwise democratic process, I abstained from voting in these categories.

By the way, if you've got some time in my hands, check out my (relatively new) profile on OurStage. "Beautifully Bittersweet" is ranked #37 on the Alt/Rock chart this month. Join my fan club, rate my music and help push me to number 1! I wouldn't mind playing Bumbershoot..

Also, check out my boys in The Slants! They're a Portland-based dance/rock band extraordinaire. Not only should you vote for them for the 2009 PMAs, but you should buy every single piece of merchandise they offer. Or I will fight you.

1 comment:

Simon Tam said...

Sounds like you've got a fight on your hands. How could you not for The Slants as new artist too? What a jerk, Spartacus