I'm In Love With A Python, And Other Stories

I'm in love with a python named Rose.

There, I said it. I ain't skerred.

She slithers, she sheds her skin like a tube sock. What's not to love? Plus, she's the perfect accessory to many outfits. With scales of tan, black, and brown, it's easy to throw her around your neck for that finishing touch. Where do you think the name 'boa' came from, anyway?

I met Rose while on tour in Boise, ID, this last weekend. Geri Lynn, a friend/fan/hairstylist extraordinaire who graciously let us crash at her place, calls Rose her own.

I'd never really held a snake before. I think I might have pet one or two at those dumb petting zoos that your parents take you to as a child. You can stick your hand through a hole and pet a goat, but all you really want to do is grab it by the horns and take it for a wild joyride on the icy back roads of Michigan. No? You never wanted to do that? I was a weird kid.

After my show at the Terrapin Station on Friday, and after a little dancing at Tom Grainey's, it was all Rose from then on out.

I need a snake. The only deterrent, for me, is having to feed those poor little hapless mice to it. Not only do I feel bad for the mouse, but it's kind of emasculating to tell a snake that that's the biggest thing it's capable of taking on. Something bigger, like a sloth, might be more of a challenge.

Enough snake talk. This last mini-tour rocked. Wednesday found me in Spokane, WA, at Empyrean, sharing a bill with Shane Evans and Bridget Vogel, two incredible acoustic musicians.

Thursday morning, after a long, sleepless night, I headed over to the studios of 103.1 KCDA to tape a show for the Local Lounge with Matt Loi.

Damn, it sucked. Never OD on sleeping pills before going on the radio. I couldn't finish a thought to save JFK's life. Matt Loi is a patient man with a lot of editing to do.

Thursday night, I played in Richland, WA, with local hard rock band Folding In. They played a rocking acoustic set. Think Days Of The New on illegal substances.

While in Richland, I met with Spencer Andrews, president of Dummy Boy Records, who had driven three hours to watch my show. I signed a new management deal, as well as an associated booking deal with The Show Media and Joey Gingerella.

In Boise, Mandy and I both got new 'dos, and devoured some amazing vegan orange 'chicken' at Mai Thai downtown. Then we headed back to Portland.

Goodbye, Rose.

I'll be back in Boise February 27.